How to Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin

HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Doing a boudoir shoot is probably one of the most daunting photography sessions. You want to do it but you are not comfortable in your own skin and you want to get over that. But how? When my client comes in for her boudoir session, most often she is clearly nervous. We stop everything, and I ask to look at me and concentrate on what I have to say. “Take a deep breath from the diaphragm and release it slowly. And again. And one more time.” “How do you feel?” “Better,” she responds. I realized at that time, meditation is a powerful tool to help you get to where you need to be because trust me when I tell you, “Beauty comes from the inside out.” The problem is not the exterior. The problem is what is happening on the inside. When I realized that, I knew I was onto something big to help my clients become more comfortable in their own skin. I highly recommend a daily does of mediation for however long it may take you. I always strive for 10 minutes at the beginning of my day. If you are not mediating, find resources that will help you. In the meantime, here are a few other steps to help you get you started in the right direction:

1. STOP SEEKING VALIDATION FROM THE OUTSIDE AND START SEEKING IT FROM THE INSIDE

We all do it! We rely on our partners for assurance, our parents, our family members, our bosses, our co-workers, our girlfriends. In other words, our circle. It’s lovely getting validation and it is important; however, the danger lies with putting your self worth into 100% of other’s opinion of you. Sooner than later, you will be disappointed in what they say and ultimately disappointed in you. Stop it! Their opinion doesn’t matter one way or the other. Think of it this way; putting your value into other’s people way of thinking of you, you immediate lose your own power!!

2. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Practice self love every day even if you don’t believe it. Do it every single day and trust me faking it until you make it works every time! All you have to do is think positive thoughts about you! Make note of one thing you love about yourself each day and concentrate on that one thing. I sometimes use post it notes on my mirror, my computer, my desk..in my car, in the kitchen to remind myself of what a badass I am!!! Sooner or later, it will kick in and one day you will realize that you made it!!!

3. BUILD YOUR OWN SELF WORTH (INSECURITY, SELF DOUBT, DISCOMFORT)

So once you start to let go of other’s own opinions of you, that is when you start to build your own self worth. How do you do that? Baby steps! You start small and gradually build up over time. Find tools that will help you to build your own self worth. Here are some examples:

–JOURNAL … spend a few moments each day writing something positive about yourself

–SELF TALK…look in the mirror each day and give yourself a pep talk

–POSITIVE QUOTES…find positive quotes that resonate with you and post those suckers everywhere!!

4. WORK ON WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE AND ACCEPT WHAT YOU CANNOT

This is a game changer! Take not of what you cannot change and accept them. Take note of what you can change and start taking steps towards changing what it is that you do not like about yourself. Baby steps. Set goals. And work towards them. What do you need to do to change to be the person you want to be; someone you like and respect.

5. BLOCK OUT THE NOISE AROUND YOU

You are bombarded with beautiful photos of women on Facebook, Instagram, blog posts, magazines, EVERYWHERE you look!! Instead of focusing on that, spend time blocking out the noise and start meditating. You will find great strength and power in a daily 10 minute meditation that will make you feel refreshed and alive (and beautiful). REMEMBER..BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN and not the other way around. Trust me on this one!!! STOP LISTENING TO THE MEDIA!!! Be your own person! Break the rules!! Look at role models such as Betty White, Iris Apfel, Helen Mirren, and so on.

Do not let age be a deterrent.

6. PRACTICE SELF LOVE

Treat yourselves the way you would treat others!! STOP, LISTEN, TAKE NOTE of what you are saying to yourself. Once you consciously start doing that, you will change the way you see yourself. Forgive yourself. Say it out loud! Be kind to yourself! Do nice things for yourself.

7. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE

Clean House !! If someone in your life is not providing you with positive feedback about yourself, it’s time to move on! I cannot stress this enough!

8. FIND A GOOD SUPPORT GROUP

Annapolis Boudoir VIP Facebook Group is a good place to start!

REMEMBER: BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN . . .

and not the other way around.

Now that you have read this far and are on the verge of seeing yourself in a new and positive light, I recommend you read the following blog post for inspiration:

Love and light,

Linda